Mommy Fear

Since becoming a mother, I have had an entirely new type of nightmare. The fear started when I was pregnant with my first. I am not a fearful person, but the idea of losing what is most dear to me… stops me dead in my tracks. I never realized how little I had to fear in my life before children. Parenthood comes with its own set of paranoia, specific to the mommies and daddies of the world.

My fear was, of course, intensified by the helpless I felt when Mayhem had his febrile seizure.  I didn’t used to be like this! I appreciate the carefree attitude that I had in college now. Here are my top 3 recurrent nightmares- let me know if you share them! 

1. Earthquake: We live in southern California, so I worry that ‘the big one’ will happen when I’m at work- away from the boys. And I won’t be able to get home to them, find them, or know they are safe. This fear has significantly increased my desire to own a large SUV with 4-wheel drive, which is entirely unnecessary in this climate. 

2. Kidnapping: We all see those stories on TV about the kids that are taken from their own home, while their parents are asleep. I can’t even imagine, but I definitely waste my energy worrying about it! Jaycee Dugard, Elizabeth Smart, they were the lucky ones. But the list could go on, and I can’t stop myself from reading all about them!

 3. Pool accident: My parents have a pool in their backyard, across the country. Is it logical to worry about my California kids drowning in New Jersey? No. Do I? Yes.  

What is your biggest ‘mommy fear’?